Maynard vs, Sharps

[Eggman]

A few days ago I innocently posted a suggested "for sale" scenario for selling a Sharps carbine. For this description I chose some of the better features of the Sharps, certain to foster a desire to purchase in the reader. Somehow my friend and teammate Norm took umbridge at the description I developed inferring it was sort of a "cheap shot" against the Sharps. This is hard to understand considering the quality of my narrative.
Norm seems to do well with his Sharps, but he usually quotes what he calls a "hit time" to back up his performances. I still don't know what a hit time is. When I compare our "number of hits," you know where you simply count the number of hits, Norm says this is irrelevant, that you must compare "hit times." I tend to defer to Disraeli's comment, "You have lies, damned lies, and statistics." The "hit time" thing seems a lot like statistics.
But anyway Norm sort of issued a challege, again setting his Sharps against my Maynard. So I guess a contest is in order. I did a fair amount of testing and work on the Maynard and finally have the bullets going thorough the target in a straight line. I've attached a target I shot today. This was into the sun so the front sight was only a rumor. That's five shots, the double on the right. As is typical with the Maynard, I needed only five percussion caps to fire the five cartridges.
So anyway here's the challege. I challenge Norm to a duel at the Spring National carbine match - best "hit time" wins a slider and coke from the loser. Since Norm's "hit times" last year were in the "20s" (whatever that means), I'm asking that he give me a "5 second" spot. In return I will give Norm a "10 second" spot if his gun misfires eight or more times.
I know peole that know us may think this wager is unwise. But I expect Norm may have peaked last year. According to his family he has spent most of the winter watching Matlock reruns and eating soft food.

[Lou Lou Lou]

Esteemed Egg;

What size is that "bulls eye"? It was hard for me to estimate. Was it, in fact a 4.25 inch 50 yard bull, shot at 50 yards off hand or some other bull? The proximity of the 7 ring to the black threw me off.

With respect to statistics. I prefer Hits per minute as opposed to Hit Time, but it is all relative. A 30 second hit time is 2 hits per minute. Bottom line, if you are shooting the same event and Norm is claiming a lower hit time. he must also have more hits total. I look forward to observing this head to head competition.

[norman horne, 12321]

I gotta admit, that is a nice looking target. But, there is a slight difference in shooting in your back yard at your leisure, and shooting "on the line" under pressure! Challenge accepted, and looked forward to. (Side bets encouraged).

[Eggman]

Lookin forward to it Norm. The target is one of Mrs. Kowdoc's big black dots meant to represent a pigeon Lou.

[ian45662]

So what is considered a good or great hit time with either one of these carbines?

[Eggman]

I think Norm's hit time is around 29 seconds.

[Lou Lou Lou]

Jist a tad over 2 hits per minute. Iff'in you uns is keeping up with him that is a 120 second clayboard and 6o second hanging events. Dang fine shootin':o

[Joe Plakis, 9575V]

Not to rain on anyone's parade, but I can do the say thing with a Richmond Musketoon! :o

[Lou Lou Lou]

Heck, two hits per minutes with a muzzle loader is impressive. Machine Gun Rohde used to be that fast. Gonna go down to Springtown and check it out.

[Eggman]

Joe - on behalf of Norm I would like to invite you to join us in the slider pool. I know as skinny as Norm is he can easily eat two. I know I can.

[Joe Plakis, 9575V]

Lou your team and Region is welcome at Springtown anytime, and if they bring you that is okay to!:D

[Southron Sr.]

Just get a good Pedersoli Sharps Carbine and get it sighted in!

GOOD LUCK!!!!

[Southron Sr.]

My Dear Eggman.....

I would have thought by now that your team members would have held that "Intervention" to wean you away from those dreadful Maynard Carbines. I do know that one of your team members ordered the "$2.95 Maynard Intervention Kit" from me-but it must have been for someone else.

No matter, since the tragic outcome of that Intervention in Waycross [as it turned out, there were hungry bears in Miller's Cave after all.]
WE have completely revamped the Maynard Intervention Program because of that incident. Here is how it works now:

1. First, you must sign "The Pledge" to never shoot a Maynard Carbine again.

2. When you send it in, you must also inform me of a night your wife won't be at home.

3. We will bring a BIG Cake to your house and after it is inside, six scantily clad, attractive, nubile young ladies will jump out of the cake.

These are the "Sharps Hallelujahs Chorus Girls."

Each will be holding a Sharps Carbine and each will sing a special song and dance a very special and enticing dance just for you-because you have "Pledged to give up those dreadful Maynards."

Usually, by this part of the Intervention, there is not a dry eye in the house.

Sometimes the girls forget themselves and express their happiness too much to the Interventionist, that he has taken "The Pledge." You will have to be on the guard for something like this. I think you can understand why at emotional moments like that, why it is a good idea your wife won't be at home. Wives, we have found, tend to be a bit too narrow minded.

So, when can we schedule your Intervention? The girls can hardly wait to meet the famous Eggman!

[Eggman]

I am curious, why do you use dancing girls from Nubia? Do they wear veils? Wouldn't it be cheaper to hire Americans?

[John Holland]

Eggman.....The definition of Nubile.....Seriously ? ? ?

Of course they're American! Do you think Southron would hire anyone BUT American Home Grown Females ? ? ? See # 2 of the following definition...."Sexually Attractive, used regarding a young woman..." I'm sure Southron has nothing but good taste when it comes to Deep South Females!


Definition of NUBILE from the latest Merriam-Webster Dictionary

1: of marriageable condition or age

2: sexually attractive —used of a young woman


Origin of NUBILE

French, from Latin nubilis, from nubere to marryFirst Known Use: circa 1642

[Eggman]

Well it was simple logic, the native term for an unmarried woman in Nubia is nubilitta, and for a married woman it's nubilora. So some sort of generic term for all Nubian lady dancers, like nubile, seemed like a reasonable fit.

[Southron Sr.]

Dear Eggman....

All of our attractive, nubile & scantily clad young ladies in the Sharps Hallelujahs Chorus Girls are volunteers! We don't pay them a cent!
They are all High Minded Young Ladies from the Carolina Region that have dedicated themselves to the mission of stamping out the dreaded Maynard Delusional Syndrome.

We hold tryouts every year and one would be surprised how many attractive young ladies "Come Out" for our Hallelujah Chorus! The competition for those limited number of positions (you can get only so many girls in a cake) is intense. Of course, our only prerequisite (besides youth, beauty and a strong desire to accomplish "Good") is that they already own and shoot a Sharps Carbine.

When can we schedule your Intervention?

[Ron/The Old Reb]

Southern Sr.

Are guest invited? I would like to add this to my bucket list.:p

[Eggman]

Not to cast any aspersions at John, but I can't believe he quoted Webster's scribbles as authoritative on the subject of Nubian orthography. I need not point out that at the time the Nubians were helping construct the pyramids and keeping the Hebrews of old gainfully employed baking bricks, Webster's forebares were running amok in Sherwood Forrest dressed in animal skins and generally creating a nuisance of themselves --- so much so, they were eventually restricted to the northern portion of the British isle by Hadrian's wall. The Nubian language predates Webster and his ilk by 19 centuries, and claiming that the Nubian dancers are not nubile on the basis of Webster et al is certainly a stretch.

[John Holland]

Egg - I didn't say "Nubian Dancers weren't nubile". What I can't figure out is how your thought process took you to Africa? Yeah, yeah, I know you explained it. It is a perfect example of logic gone wrong. I'm sure Southron would ONLY ever hire Americans, no need to import foreign talent when he has so many Georgia Peaches to choose from!

As for the denizons of Sherwood Forest, they came long after Hadrian built his famous wall to protect himself and his Roman Legions from those ferocious wee nasties who were killing his Legionnaires one at a time. As it turns out many the decendants of those infamous Picts eventually left their home land and relocated to the Southern portions of America, where they established just as ferocious a reputation for being tenacious fighters as they had on the Auld Sod.

"Nubian Orthography"....I say "Huh?" The study of Nubian writing? You've lost me once again! Where did I infer anything about Nubian writing? Webster was the accepted standard for the school systems you and I both grew up with (we're only 3 years apart in age), and it is still good enough for me.

I hope you are having as much mirthful fun with this as I am! You do realize, right now we are the "Entertainment Committee" for the cabin fever crowd?

Please continue as the mood moves you! :D

John

P.S. - Southron, don't be bashful here!

[Michael Bodner]

No, no, no. Waiting until Spring Nationals will simply not do. You will begin this exhibition of swagger at the Carolina Region Donnybrook Skirmish March 16-18 (cheap plug...)

Palmetto Sharpshooters will gladly repost a pigeon board with multiple clays, 2 shooters, and a timer.

Let 'er rip, boys...

-Bootsie

[John Holland]

Bootsie, you do know you will have to have this special event filmed for posterity, much less for those of us who have been enthusiastically following this thread and can't be there!

Why, you could even start a poll to see how many supporters you have on each side of the topic! As we have seen, the Sharps shooters and the Maynard shooters are very firm in their beliefs of which one is the best. I'll bet there won't be any lack of side bets on this event, either!

JDH

[RaiderANV]

Thinkin' I'll have ta switch ta sharps holding up me maters this year as those pesky starr's have ah-bout rusted ah-way.;)

[John Holland]

Hey....PJ....If'n them Starr Carbines have 'bout rusted away.....Does thet mean you ain't growin' any tamaters this year?

Yer Bud, whose still awaitin' a certain Butt Stock....

JDH

[RaiderANV]

Yeah,,,,,,mater's gonna have ta wait til I move to me new farm in a few weeks I hope

[Eggman]

I owe everyone an apology. According to a stonemason friend of mine "brick" is both singular and plural, i.e., "Ezekel baked 500 brick today."

[Michael T.]

Is that anything like bricking a camel??

[norman horne, 12321]

As soon as I finish posting this note, I'll be making up extra ammo for the two man "Sharps vs. Maynard, put up or shut up" expo, to be held at the Donnybrook. Side bets still encouraged. One condition, if there is "filming" done, I WANT ROYALTIES!!

[Lou Lou Lou]

Here's the plan. Root for the Sharps to win, then buy up all the Maynards for 10 cents on the dollar.

[kowdok]

Hey Norm, don't start counting your sliders yet, Mr. and Mrs. Kowdok and the "Duke" want a little of the action on the Maynard side. I just busted 5 in a row of the 4" tiles in my back yard at 100yds the other day and you know Mrs. Kowdok usually out does me and the "Duke" shoots nearly that good on one good leg. Little Kowdok will be here with his Sharpes, but unbeknownst to him, I altered his ammo slightly so as to limit his success. Sure hope he doesn't see this post. See you in a couple of weeks for the showdown.

[norman horne, 12321]

Hello Commander. Well I reckon 4 Maynards(yours, Ms. K's, Eggman's, Duke's) to one litte ole Sharps is about even! Sorry Sir; couldn't help myself. Norm.

[Eggman]

What is kind of strange is I see Bootsie Bodner following this string, yet for some reason he has not offered to throw his Smith into the mix. I've seen this boy break string after string of pigeons with that gun as nonchalant as a hooker on east Baltimore street. I think this excessive passivity goes all the way back to when Sherman and his hoards stormed through South Carolina. This seemed to put a damper on traditional palmetto aggressivity, and no amount of encouragement seems to change this..

[Charlie Hahn]

If PJ is going to take part with a Sharps, I'll supply the gun and ammo for the photo op

Charlie Hahn

[Southron Sr.]

Our on going research indicates that the inability to distinguish "nubile young ladies" from "Nubians" of African origins is definitely a symptom of an advanced case of Maynard Delusional Syndrome.

Although there is active debate going among within the ranks of our research psychologists and psychiatrists as to the proper protocols of treatment for such an advanced case of MDS, in the interim, we are simply sending along an extra two, scantily clad, young ladies in our Interventions.

Several of our researchers have written intriguing papers suggesting that we also send along Mistress Vitchness Von Helga to provide a little "Discipline" for the Interventionee during the last 30 minutes of the Intervention. At this point, our Governing Board will not authorize such a radical step-but it is an option that they will keep in mind.

[kowdok]

For you highly educated brainiacs, Nubian is a breed of GOATS and I'm afraid they would make a hell of a mess inside that cake. Kowdok

[RaiderANV]

If PJ is going to take part with a Sharps, I'll supply the gun and ammo for the photo op

Charlie Hahn


Well,,,,,,,,,,,, long as ya don't mine all the dings in yer stock?!?!? Figure the only chance it'll have of beatin' ah GFC ( GOD's Perfect Carbine) is if'n I use it like ah bat & the rounds like gravel.

[Little Kowdok]

Hey Norm, don't start counting your sliders yet, Mr. and Mrs. Kowdok and the "Duke" want a little of the action on the Maynard side. I just busted 5 in a row of the 4" tiles in my back yard at 100yds the other day and you know Mrs. Kowdok usually out does me and the "Duke" shoots nearly that good on one good leg. Little Kowdok will be here with his Sharpes, but unbeknownst to him, I altered his ammo slightly so as to limit his success. Sure hope he doesn't see this post. See you in a couple of weeks for the showdown.

So much for not practicing before I show up to a skirmish. I suppose some would see it as unfair, but I'll take the odds of Norm and I against the four of you.

[norman horne, 12321]

Nice to have some company, Little K. Thanks for the help. Guess them there Maynard mates of ours gonna be nervous now, with two of us Sharpies in the mix. See you in a couple of weeks. Norm.