"Dear Lefty..."

[Tim Lyne]

I need some marital advice and who better to ask than you. Your insights as to just what makes the fairer sex tick is legendary.

I think I may have said something to my wife that was grossly mininterpreted.

I was shoveling snow on Saturday afternoon and couldn't find my wife anywhere. Eventually she came outside just as I was finishing up the driveway. I asked her where she had been and she said she had been lying down "getting some beauty sleep." I told her it looked like she could use a couple more hours.

My question is this; Which do you think she'd like to have as an "I'm sorry" Valentine's day gift; a new ironing board or a new snow shovel (the handle on mine got broken on Saturday) or does something like this call for some kind of extraordinary measures, like a romantic night out at a Professional Wrasslin' match?

Tim Lyne
Knap's Batt.
#2952V

[Scott Kurki, 12475]

Oh my, with such a gross faux pas as you have committed I think you need to think a little bigger for the sort of suitable compensation that will get you out of the substantial hole you’ve dug for yourself. I am thinking that nothing short of 25 lbs of black powder or perhaps maybe even a nice custom skirmish rifle might, just might, be the size of the gift needed to help you recover from this one. Of course you are going to have to also make yourself scarce in the next several months to help the wounds heal. I just don’t know how you will pull this off by Valentine’s Day, maybe a gift certificate? An IOU? :P

[Southron Sr.]

A long time ago I found out that women LOVE to get FLOWERS!!! That will get your wife all 'Lovey Dovey' again.

To avoid those HIGH PRICES that florist charge for fresh flowers, I found that flowers can be obtained at your local cemetary FOR FREE!!!!

So, on your way home from work, drop by the local cemetary, pick out a suitable boquet for your wife and carry it home to her. She will LOVE IT!

HINT: Be sure to remove any ribbon that says "Rest In Peace," etc., before you present her those flowers. I found that trick out the hard way several years back.

HAVE A HAPPY (AND CHEAP) VALENTINES DAY!!!

[RaiderANV]

Hey Tim,,,,,,,,I'll make ya ah heck of ah deal on a super RARE Maynard Snow Shovel ta go fetch those flowers out the cemetary.

[Jim Brady Knap's Battery]

Tim.

After due consideration and a lot of staring blankly into space Lefty has decided that Scott's suggestion of a nice skirmish shooter would be a good way to go along with an appropriate amount of suitable LUBE. In keeping with the topic of this segment of the B/B you should open it up to the membership as to what the proper type of skirmish approved firearm would fit the bill in your specific case. I feel certain the this is sound advice on Lefty's part and he is here wearing a rather self satisfied smug look. Personally I think you're boned and we'll be lucky to see you at least until the Spring Nationals.

For your pal Lefty

Jim Brady
2249V
Knap's Battery

[Scott Kurki, 12475]

Hey Tim,,,,,,,,I'll make ya ah heck of ah deal on a super RARE Maynard Snow Shovel ta go fetch those flowers out the cemetary.
Got any star snow shovels, I hear they are much better thant the Maynard ones?

[Scott Kurki, 12475]

Tim.

After due consideration and a lot of staring blankly into space Lefty has decided that Scott's suggestion of a nice skirmish shooter would be a good way to go along with an appropriate amount of suitable LUBE. In keeping with the topic of this segment of the B/B you should open it up to the membership as to what the proper type of skirmish approved firearm would fit the bill in your specific case. I feel certain the this is sound advice on Lefty's part and he is here wearing a rather self satisfied smug look. Personally I think your boned and we'll be lucky to see you at least until the Spring Nationals.

For your pal Lefty

Jim Brady
2249V
Knap's Battery

Oh wow! How could I have overlooked the LUBE? That has long been a popular Valentine's Day gift.